Dilemma

Time, Luck, and the Dilemma of Choices

Of all the things in my schedule, the hardest one to manage is my study prep. Ironically, it also sits at the very top of my priority list. So why do I dodge it so often?

Sometimes I wonder: am I afraid of that extreme learning curve? The kind that demands everything from you focus, energy, consistency. Maybe that’s it. The very weight of my own expectations pushes me away. I want to tackle it in a way that’s easier, more flexible, more forgiving.

But here’s the contradiction: I’m a sucker for learning. At all points of life, I’m learning something if not one thing, then another. And it’s not just the knowledge I love, it’s the feeling of discomfort that comes with learning, the stretch, the friction. That uneasiness? I thrive on it.

So then, why does studying still feel like such a burden?

The Fruit-Bed Analogy

When I think about luck, I also think about opportunity. Picture those fruit farms where they spread out a bed under a tree, shake it, and let all the fruits fall into the net. That’s how I see life: shake the tree of opportunities, say yes often, and let the fruits fall.

But the problem? When too many fall at once, which do you pick up? Which one is ripe, which one is worth biting into first? My life is like that now teaching, consulting, freelancing, tutoring, business analytics. Each feels like a shot at luck. Each demands its share of time.

Perfectionism vs. Progress

And then comes perfectionism, my old companion. It whispers: “Do it perfectly or don’t do it at all.” But let’s be honest that mindset doesn’t fit my reality anymore. This is not the only thing on my list. If I wait for perfect conditions, nothing gets done.

So maybe the better way is this: don’t aim for perfect, aim for presence. The way I show up in my journal daily, even if it’s just one line. Maybe studying can be the same. One lecture, one page, one solved problem that’s enough for the day.

The Core Dilemma

So here’s the question: is my struggle really about “too many opportunities” or is it about my inability to choose? Maybe both. Saying yes feels like abundance, but choosing means giving something else up. And I resist that.

But maybe choice itself is the skill I need to practice. Not perfect choices, just choices. Not perfect study sessions, just showing up. Because in the end, progress is built less on grand plans and more on the simple act of being present.

✨ Sometimes the dilemma is not a curse, but a reminder: that I care deeply about my future, about making the right moves. But caring isn’t enough choosing is. And showing up, even in small ways, is what eventually shakes the tree and lets the fruit fall into place.